family, funny, general ramblings, love, parenting, the importance of family

Motherhood

My friend, who had been dating her husband for ten years and married him in 2015, gave birth recently. I was so excited for her (even though we were not close at all). When her baby was born, I felt a strange sort of excitement for her, I was actually so happy for her to join in on the journey of motherhood. I was so happy for her darling bundle of ten little fingers and toes and beautiful cries. I am constantly checking her updates for pictures of the little angel and I find myself asking after her a lot nowadays. 

I have asked her how motherhood is treating her and she said to me something that I felt strangely about. 

Motherhood is absolutely awesome, if I could have had her earlier, I would have. I see now y u love being a mom, u only know that feeling when u r 1. 

I realised that people look at me with the outlook that I Love Being A Mum (which I do), but I never realised that people also had that judgement on me. I am not just talking about her, my brothers and sisters in law have spoken about me to my husband, in and out of my presence, and they have all complimented my mothering. 

I must say, it does feel wonderful to be appreciated. However, motherhood is not all smiles and joy. Every time you see a picture displaying motherhood, you see a mother looking joyous with their child. Let me tell you a few things about that picture you’re seeing:

  • The ‘child’ and ‘mother’ in the picture actually have no relation at all 
  • The child probably just pooped in their diaper and is extremely happy about doing it while he/she was just changed and dressed in really nice clothes
  • The child is probably happy to be naked (if its one of those pictures taken outdoors)
  • The mother in the picture, is probably just waiting to get this over and done with 
  • The mother is also hoping the child does not mess up her clothes 
  • She is hoping that the child does not choose this time to throw a tantrum
  • She is also hoping that she looks good in every photo 

Motherhood is really:

  • Repeating something ten times, then eventually getting up and intervening 
  • Never getting to sit in peace for 5 minutes 
  • Never getting to eat in peace
  • Never getting to use the toilet without rushing to avoid some untold disaster
  • Becoming a qualified home safety officer
  • Continually making food 
  • Continually filling feeding cups
  • Cleaning up the same place ten times and eventually giving up
  • Being able to know what your kids ate with your nose (yes, dirty diapers say it all) 
  • Becoming a stealth expert due to a sleeping baby time bomb that you don’t want to explode 
  • Functioning on the least amount of sleep humanly possible
  • Having the fastest shower in the world 
  • Shaving only when your armpit hair is long enough to braid (I’m joking, but you know what I mean)
  • Having endless nonsensical conversations throughout the day
  • Singing strange songs
  • Making weird noises
  • Decrypting the baby language and facial expressions of your child
  • Getting beaten up  by your co sleeping child
  • Never getting to enjoy your sleep
  • Endless anxiety
  • Never getting space in the bed 
  • Acting silly, crazy, stupid
  • And so many other things

But despite all these things, there is something about motherhood, that makes it all worth it. I can’t tell you whether it’s the cuddles, or snuggles or that look in your child’s eyes that tell you, you’re all they know, all they care about, all that they can trust. It tells you that you are their safe haven, you are their home and their whole world revolves around you. Maybe it’s the way your whole world lights up the moment, you see your child hit their first milestones like starting to crawl or saying their first word. Maybe its the amount of love you feel when they hold on to you tightly, or they give you a kiss or they fall asleep in your arms. Maybe its that feeling of belonging you get when they call out to you or they look to you when they get hurt or feel sad. Maybe its that feeling you felt when you gave birth to your baby after nursing them in your womb for so many months. Maybe its that feeling of immense pride and joy that you feel when they have learnt something that you have just taught them. Or maybe, its something divine, something straight from heaven. 

Happy Friday everyone ♡ and mums,  you’re doing a great job. You are the best!

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