general ramblings, work from home

Exhausted and frustrated 

Before my husband gets home, let me type a quick blog post.

I feel like I live 2 days in one go. My first day begins at 3 or 4.30 am nowadays since its really cold in the morning. I get up and my day begins with the morning rush of getting him ready in the morning. My day goes by with blogging, searching for work from home ( I am rolling my eyes at this one), spending time with and taking care of my kids and doing housework. Then at 4.30 or 5 pm, the first day ends and the second day begins. This time with welcoming my husband home from work. My second day ends only when my head hits the pillow for the last time after waking up ten times at night for my daughter. 

It is exhausting! Still, I want a job. I have decided that this needs to be a year of financial independance for me. I hate relying on my husband for money. I want to go places and like things and buy them for him, for my kids and for myself. I don’t want to go everywhere and have to ask my husband to pay for everything. 

A woman just needs to feel a little independence as well as like she’s in control of something even if it is just her shopping. I don’t understand all those women out there that have no problem with just spending their husband’s money. 

I want to be an asset to my husband. To say one day when we’re out, “Love, dont worry, I got this”. I want to have something of my own. I want to be independant and to have the ability to decide what I can buy, for myself. I don’t want to have to explain my every purchase. I have a daughter, if I want to buy her fancy clips etc, I can just do it. No questions asked.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a big spender. But which woman doesn’t like to splurge a little, here and there.

Not being financially independant is really frustrating me. Not forgetting to mention the fact that, I am intelligent and I’m not putting my brain to good use. 

Any other stay at home mums out there feeling like me? 

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